Reasons for seeking a counsellor
These are very diverse, and may include:
- Feeling out of contact
- Feeling unvalued or ’bottom of the heap’
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Fertility concerns
- Negotiating differences
- Demands of babies and children
- Anxiety and depression
- Dismissive or abusive communication
The Process of Counselling
The benefits of meeting in confidence with a professionally trained counsellor/psychotherapist have been proved to be substantial in a number of different situations. A first impulse to seek help, or a suggestion from a friend that this may be useful, may lead to relief at no longer being alone. Moreover you are now more in control of a difficult situation, and you will find the thought and effort you have already put in, dispiriting as things may seem, will give positive results.
You may have come just to talk and think about a situation in life. You may have pressing concerns about your family of origin, be very tired with a young family, there may be a crisis that has recently, even yesterday, come about. Whatever the trigger for your decision, that is fine.
The problem may have been rumbling on for a long time, and an event such as a birthday or celebration bring things into the open. It is so often hard to talk about, and hard too to continue the conversation if an overture goes nowhere. Something wrong at work, anxiety about a new management, may nag away but you think it is a weakness to be open about it, or you fear a response that is unwelcome. Your partner may seem secretive and moody, and irritation takes the place of understanding.
The confidential space
Private concerns need time and somewhere to go to air them, the process of counselling, if available sheds light in a such a way that the concerns you have brought are firstly more manageable. Gradually new solutions emerge.
Time without the usual pressure of phone calls, the demands of children, family, visitors, is of the essence of the process of counselling, not in a selfish way, since when we feel happier we are able to give more to other people, without anxiety and resentment. Such an enterprise is worth the effort!